Sunday, October 4, 2009

Words of Wisdom for My Girl...

Wow. Wow. Wow. OK. Goodness gracious, let me get the mechanics of your writing out of the way before we start talking about life. In the two pieces I've read now, I'm loving the way your writing circles. What I mean by that is, you end in a way that is very similar to how you start. You "circle back around" so to speak. This is very clean and effective. Your voice is spectacular. Having first-hand experience with 14 year olds, you're atypical in that you don't use the word, "LIKE" fourteen million times in your writing, and hopefully not in your speaking. I'll give you one or two every once in a while, but no more. "LIKE" makes you... like, not seem... like... you know... like SMART or anything. And uh... yeah. (That's my favorite: "uh... yeah." It makes me want to hurt somebody.) This piece flows. You make yourself completely understood quite easily and strike upon another universal theme--especially among teens--which is wanting to speed up the process of growing up and conquer that beast we call TIME! Shakespeare had a love/hate relationship with time and wrote about it a lot. Several sonnets he devoted to that very subject. Anyway, this begs the question, who is your audience, Miss Savannah? Teens? Adults? Anyone? Try to answer this question before you begin. Be clear in your own mind about who you are talking to without saying, "This piece is for teenagers..." or "This piece is for the adults who torture me..."

Now for the content. Lovie! Let me lay this out for you so we're both on the same sheet of music here--you being 14--me being 43 this month. Your teens can be rough, and everyone thinks their journey is the roughest. However, all it takes to correct THAT delusion is to LOOK AROUND! And be continually GRATEFUL for all that you have that other teens don't. If we all put our problems in the middle of the table, you'd probably grab your own right back out again, right? After that, let me be the first to tell you--your 20s suck. You don't have a WHOLE lot of respect from the world because... well, let's face it. You're 20. What do you know? Not much. Life actually starts looking pretty good about 30. Especially for women, the decade of their 30s is MUCH better than their 20s. Why? Well, in a woman's 20s, she's usually all about OTHER people. Lots of girls get married and have small children in their 20s and life never really seems to be about HER--but about doing what she needs to do for other people. Her husband, her children, her job, her church... the list of needing machines is LONG in a girl's 20s. This isn't necessarily a bad thing--it just IS. She's the GLUE! It's not a bad thing being the GLUE! It definitely has its perks. But by the time she's 30, she wakes up, sits up in bed and looks at her husband drooling on her pillow, smacks him in the arm and says--with authority, mind you--"I'm TIRED! Go make me a SANDWICH!" And he DOES! For the next DECADE he does! It's FANTASTIC! Her children are older and more self-sufficient. She can concentrate on herself a little more. A massage. A pedicure. A night out with the girls. It's divine. Her 40s are even better because she has more money. I have nothing to say about the 50s because I'm not there yet, but Madonna, Cher, Tina Turner, and Oprah don't seem any worse for it. I think my 50s will bring grandchildren into my life. I can squeeze them, buy them things, cuddle with them, and still sleep ALLLLLLLLL NIGHT! Who wouldn't love THAT, right? So, my darling, you're certainly aiming for the right decade. Your fabulous 40s.

But here's what I'm coming to realize more and more about the "getting there." I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound. I'm not faster than a speeding bullet or a train. Life cannot be barreled through with no regard to "The Power of Now." In fact, we are not promised tomorrow. No one, Savannah, NO ONE knows whether or not she'll even be here. Not one of us. This is a sobering thought. Yes, I've arrived at a very wonderful place in my life. It took many steps to get here. If I were able to simply LEAP to this place, then guess what? I'd be living my life in my 40s, but I'd still be 14 in my own head and even MORE frustrated in a world I could never navigate through because I just don't have the life experience. It sounds trite to say that I needed every experience before this one so that I could be successful in THIS experience right now, but it is true none-the-less.

Be grateful. You're lucky. Some people remain tethered to their pasts and do not develop as they should. Some people really ARE 14 year olds living in 40 year old lives. Due to some traumatic or debilitating event from their past, they have not matured how they should, and now they have bills they don't know how to pay, children they don't know how to raise, and relationships that remain broken because they have no clue how to fix them. They are fragmented people. YOU, my darling, are about as authentic and sincere a young lady as I've ever seen. And I'm not going to add that ever-patronizing phrase, "...for a girl your age."

Let me caution you, my love. Your very ANGST at being this age will be the very thing that will strap you to it. Read that line again. Read it ten times. Your ANGST at "now" will inhibit your development, as surely as I type this. Here's the lesson: If you cannot be content at 14, then how will you know how to be content at 15? How will you figure out how to be happy with "now" at 16? 17? 20? 30? 40? 100? Happiness and gratitude are never, never, never, NEVER for the future. These are gifts God has given us TODAY! Not this afternoon, not this evening... but right now. Take a little inventory, sista. You have a HUGE list of things right in this moment to be so grateful for, and think on THESE things. Your beautiful property. Your parents are poor how? Money in the bank? That just equals free money for college for you. No big deal. Look at that beautiful place you live on. All those animals. That beautiful landscape. That river that flows through your property. Sean-Martin wants to live on land with a river that runs right through it. Basically, we want what you already have. What I would have given for a mom and dad like yours. Uber cool--most days--you have to admit.

At the end of this year, I will have a journal with every page filled out with what I've done. An entry for each and every day in 2009. I've never done that before. I will be able to hand it in its entirety to whomever I please as one book. One life. But you know what it took to create that? I had to show up and put a pen to it every day. Every single, solitary day. That's like your life, Savannah. At the end of it, you will have made a beautiful life--one that you can hand back to God and say, "I did it. I did everything I was supposed to do on this earth." But in order for that to happen, you have to show up to it every day understanding how each day is critical to your whole life. Today. Right now. This moment. You cannot have the next moments without the one you're in. And what will you take with you from THIS moment into the next? There's always something...

Find it.

Right now.

And one more thing: "Don't let anyone [including you] look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

I found that in the Bible. Uhhh.... yeah.


Teresa said...

Great post, Daisy! Could not have written it better myself. It is absolutely correct. Remember the past, embrace today, look forward to the future and it's possibilities, not expectations.

Deidre said...

Well 14 going on 40 - I am knockin' on 40's door and I can tell you my Dear it is NOT all it's cracked up to be. It is so typical of 14 year olds to think that they are NOT typical. To believe that no one else feels like you, looks like you, thinks like you, dreams like you, wishes like you... so typical. How do I know? Because I was you, my friends were you, because I know it is lonely at 14 and that you feel like no one on the planet has had your experience. EVERYBODY who was ever 14 can tell you. Problem is that you won't believe them until you too are 40. Funny hun?

Why is it that your parents can tell you not to touch a hot stove when you are three but you touch it anyway? Because you are beautifully made in God's image. And God is an independent thinker. God made us to learn and grow and gain understanding - not all at once - but by and through this journey. You would make a horrible 20 year old if you skipped 15 through 19 - I promise. Back to the stove - at age 8 you trust that the things your parents tell you are dangerous really are dangerous. Why, because you can imagine that they burnt their fingers too, or wrecked their bike, or fell in the lake or whatever. What you cannot understand is that they also had 14 year old feelings, and dreams and desires. I was madly in love at age 14. I HATED my body and loved it all at the same time. I was smart and stupid, kind and mean, freindly and horrible - I can remember being 14 and my sweet young woman - you are so beautifully and wonderfully typical. Congratulations! You are OK - you are "normal" and at the same time not normal. Enjoy and embrace where you are. But I'm not gonna lie - those 20's they ROCK!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I don't know... I, of course, am going to feel the same, but then again, you (even Deidre and Teresa) left me with a new perspective, I guess. I don't know how to write what I feel, for once, believe me, for once. I think all I can say is that I don't know what to say. I'm in awe. I understand exactly what you (even Deidre and Teresa) meant. I for one, am a person who always lives in the future. I've never lived in my past, not ever. I can, sometimes, live in the present, but my intentions are all about what is going to happen NEXT in my life. I know, I need to slow down. Live life as it comes. Live it as if it's my last.
"Each new day is a gift from God, how you live it is your gift to Him." --- don't know where that came from.... I got it off a coffe mug. :)

Honestly though, God gives me a day, and I give him tomorrow. Not literally, but do you get what I mean by that? I don't return Him the gift of my joyous day I lived, but I give Him the day of which I WANT tomorrow... I don't know how to word it.

Uck. I hope you get my point.

Thank you all sooooooo much. You are very helpful.

Daisy, what on Earth would I do with out you?????

Love you,

Savannah Hill said...

Ooops. I forgot to sign in! :) Hehe. That's me. Not some anonymous freak!
Silly, silly me! :)

Daisy Rain Martin said...

You would be just fine, darling. I'm not the one who holds your past, your present, or your future. :) Let's get together soon!