Saturday, March 14, 2009

Lucy vs. Ricky

Here’s a cute article about a woman who tried parenting tricks on her husband, with some margin of success, in order to bring him into a closer alignment with what she thought would make for a happier home. Her strategies included rewarding good behavior, keeping “honey-do’s” short and to the point, using “Time Out”, giving quality time to him to get quality time to herself, and finally, implementing creative discipline!

I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything so emasculating in my life. Where does this woman keep this guy’s testicles? In her purse? Her make-up drawer? Where?

I admit, I chuckled a few times reading this article, and I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm, much in the same way that Lucy never meant any harm for her beloved Ricky. An article like this, though, does bring up certain “Battle of the Sexes” questions, doesn’t it?

I would imagine that there are many reasons that a woman might resort to using these techniques to get her man to do what she wants him to do. Perhaps she feels the need to “mother” her husband? Perhaps she is frustrated? Perhaps she has “lost her voice” in the relationship? That last one is the saddest-case scenario, I think.

In my own relationship with Sean-Martin, I can tell you that I haven’t (by a long shot!) lost my voice, although it’s not always easy to confront an issue. I’ve learned a few things. Timing is everything. (Probably the best time to voice a concern is NOT during a sporting event.) A little sugar goes a LONG WAY--and if that doesn't work, try LEMON BARS! (And a little nookie in the morning is a big WIN-WIN for everybody!) Respect his cave. Use your words—not your tears. (Save THOSE for the really BIG STUFF!) And, at the end of the day—even if your crap is not resolved and you’re at a loss as to what to do next—just remember that you guys have about 60 years to figure it out.

So, women! What are the best tricks of your trade and your reasons for using them? And, men! What are YOUR tricks? And why are they necessary for your survival?


Chelsi Grant said...

Three words: communication, honesty, and respect. Three words most of us have been hearing since middle school. Why they are so hard for some people to understand, I know not. You wouldn't think that these requirements are so unreasonalble right? Well all I have to say is you try to find a heterosexual man between the ages of 24-30 who truly understands the above mentioned criteria. It is nearly impossible. This is comimg from a girl who has gone through her fair share of men, but I won't settle until I find one who has this figured out. I love myself too much to be with someone who doesn't appreciate me. So I guess if you know a man who fits this mold, isn't an troll, and has a good heart let me know!

Still Searching,

Lisa Alexander said...

I am not married, but am definitely open to any training tips. This article however, struck me as desparate. In my 2.5 year relationship, he laready has to point out to me that he is not a first grader and I should not treat adults like children. I work on leaving the first grade teacher voice at school and try to act more adult at home.
I do 100% agree with rewarding positive behavior. It is always nice to be recognized for the contribution you make to the whole unit.
I do also agree with time out, but the way it ended up working for her. When I feel myself getting frustrated or overwhelmed, I might try informing my mate that I am putting myself on time out before I deserve it.
Thanks for sharing Daisy!